Chasing insanity.

Something that bothers me is when people go up to an obese person and force a bunch of unsolicited weight release advice on them without any regard to the surgeries that might need to be performed, or how their sense of identity may go through a metamorphosis in ways they don’t expect, like I’ve experienced and am currently experiencing.

It’s really not a conversation that you begin casually, and I find it disrespectful when people want to look at an obese person’s situation they know nothing about, and then think that the very general solutions they have in their head and yawp about…

  1. Could actually work in that person’s world.

  2. Haven’t been thought of already by that person.

  3. Is a safe way for that person to release weight.

For example, in regards to surgery here’s what I have in front of me to the tune of $60k to $80k depending on where I had the two to six surgeries, each with a six week recovery time, bare minimum. For at least one of those surgeries called a panniculectomy I’ll require either; a stay in an assisted living facility, or a short-term care nurse. That’s not because I don’t have any friends or family that wouldn’t volunteer to take care of me, I do. The fact is, I need a qualified health provider who can recognize and treat health issues as soon as they show up, or rather, before they compound and get much worse. After the six weeks of recovery, I’ll have another two months before the swelling completely stops, then it might take up to two years for the scars to settle in.

If I want to look “normal” I’ll also have to have surgeries that address the excess skin on my legs, arms, and possibly my neck/face.

Realistically, optimistically, that’s a couple years of surgery. I still have to work too, but thankfully my position is a remote one, so I can get back to work faster than others. Regardless, recovery from these surgeries will still require some crafty navigation in my professional life to execute, and tolerance and benevolence from my employer will need to be earned if it hasn’t already been.

That’s time out of the gym as well, and that will have a mental health effect on me. I already have contingency plans to support my mental health through those times though.

I don’t know every little thing that’s going to happen. I also know that if I don’t look at this as a series of small steps that I can set goals for and celebrate when I overcome them, then this will all seem like an uncrossable chasm, and it’s not, it’s crossable.

Regardless, I’m chasing after all of this severe discomfort, pain, and sacrifice in the same way I’ve tried to cultivate all of my disciplines for the past few years; as a personal energy investment into my own future happiness and life-force.

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This site’s first draft is done.